September 30, 2010

♥ our story [part 6]

Early that Summer, lots of little things and a few big things boiled down to the fact that a few days before Vince left for MOS School for 3 months of Marines training, we broke up. Technically, I broke up...something that brought forth some pretty unfortunate events, but I know now were necessary to who we are now. 

At the end of the summer, days before graduating from MOS School, Vince had an accident and broke his back. To make a long (and dramatic story) short, though we'd left things over the summer as a "dot dot dot" and considered trying to get back together once we moved back to school, we had a very messy re-break up that September. Over the next 16 months, we experienced a lot of growing pains trying to retain a friendship, exchanging hurtful words some pretty hurtful words and feelings, and then trying really hard not to retain a friendship, and we each ended up dating a few other people. 

Also during those 16 months, whether either of us was in a relationship or not, Vince would text me fairly frequently to tell me that he missed me. A couple times we met up to talk and catch up at the park, went to see a movie, and once even grocery shopped together (??), but often times we'd just talk online, sometimes for hours, about how the relationships we were in just didn't feel right, and how we each missed everything about OUR relationship- cooking dinner together, rainy day dates, the ease and comfort we had-... but we never did anything about it. By that time, he and I were both in somewhat longish-term relationships, and not really happy, but so much had happened that thinking about an "us" again really didn't seem like an option. 

By Fall of 2008, I was finally really single for the first time since high school, and for once was totally okay with it and was learning a lot about myself. I had actually finally been broken up with for the first time in my life, and I remember texting Vince that night crying and saying how sorry I was for hurting him, because if I knew that it felt THAT BAD being dumped over such an insignificant relationship, I could now imagine what he'd gone through when our relationship came to an end. Over the next couple months, I did a lot of "me" work. I spent a lot of time reflecting, getting comfortable being alone, thinking about who I wanted to become- and someday, what kind of girlfriend I wanted to become, whenever that rolled around again. 

Soon enough, Christmas was near. The semester came to a close and my roommate, Kate moved home for Christmas break to work her retail job near her parents' house. At the time, I was also working a retail job, but mine was near school, so I would go home to visit on my off days. One morning in mid-December, I woke up at my parents' house to a text from Vince from the night before, again saying that he missed me, and that we should hang out sometime. Waking up to these texts was fairly common, but until that day, I had always flat out ignored them. I had completely pushed out of my mind that Vince and I would ever date again. So much so, that at one time, during a rough period, I had sworn up and down that I "never everrr" would go there again. 

Something was different that morning, though. I realized that since the Summer night that Vince and I had sat on the diving board at my parents' house while we talked and eventually broke up, and even the times that we did hang out or run into eachother- I never once looked him in the eye. I just felt so much awkward tension and I couldn't ever bring myself to really look at him... or even be NORMAL when we were hanging out. Suddenly, I wanted to see if I could really look at him again, and, though I knew he had a girlfriend, wondered if we could just be friends.  So I sat in bed and thought about it for a moment, and finally replied to his text and said, "Okay."

1 comment:

  1. Oh my gosh Megan I'm reading all of these - just FYI - and planned to comment at the end but I just had to say: I'm HOOKED! :) And SOOO happy that your page shows that there is more to the story... that you guys obviously made it (Woot, woot!)... but I must get back to reading your awesome writing now, because like I said, I'm HOOKED! :) See you in a few when I get to "the end."


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