October 1, 2010

♥ our story [part 9]

One night after work, while alone in my apartment and waiting for him to come over with movies, I had a melt down. An "Oh my gosh, don't make me stay here because if I stay here, I have to student teach which means I have to grow up, which means I have to student teach at the middle school, which means i have to grow up, which means i have to student teach" meltdown. I dumped out my boxes of US Travel Guides on the floor and flip through them frantically, NEEDING to take a trip somewhere- anywhere- that was far away from my anxiety about the coming semester. 

Vince walks through my door to find me on my floor, wild eyed with 50 catalogs scattered around me, frustrated that something about my old computer wasn't working, practically buzzing with tension. He calmly walks by me, stepping around and between the travel guide mess, takes my computer from me, and like the genius that he is, quickly fixes it. Relieved, I say, "THIS is why I love you." And then realize what I've said, and quickly change the subject. That night, I pulled up this Iron and Wine album, and we sat on the floor and listened to it on repeat while he was so sweet and coaxed me off of my meltdown ledge, calmed me down by flipping through our options and planning for going on a day trip to explore a cave (rather than something 7 billion miles away) the following day. 

The next day I get up early with our trip on my mind, but feel really stupid about my meltdown (Why it is so easy to be so gung-ho about plans that sound so good when you so can't do them at 2am is beyond me), and almost completely back out on the trip we'd planned. Vince suggests we take a walk around town instead, but I feel like that's not satisfying either, and decided to just go ahead with what we'd planned the night before and told him to put on his shoes and be at my apartment in 15 minutes. 

We make an adventure out of it and go the LONG way to the Cumberland Caverns, listening to music and talking on the way. The cave tour was fun and pretty interesting- and so many times I was surprised to find myself REALLY wanting to hold Vince's hand as we were walking, and had to practically slap my outstretching hand away to stop myself. We still hadn't even talked about the possibility of being anything other than "just friends" ...But he just looked so cute in his sweater, and everything just felt so...right

At one point during the cave tour, we were instructed to sit on some bleachers to watch some light show... trying to keep the "friend" distance, I sat a good 10ft away from Vince. I'm sure our cave guide was confused by our behavior. At one point I'm pretty sure she even asked if we were dating, and we were just like, "uh...*shuffle*..no.." As we're leaving, mom calls to check in and sounded fairly surprised to find out that I'd spent the day in a cave with Vince. 

We stop for dinner on the way home, and go back to the apartment to find that my roommate is back from break, and her boyfriend was over. Vince and I sit on the couch and turn on the TV to see what's on (Disturbia, for the record. Suspenseful movie, not music video), and Kate and Jared go upstairs to get ready to go out to dinner. 

Vince kisses me on the cheek a time or two, and kind of nuzzles my face, but nothing more. Suddenly realizing my frustration, and also realizing that all those nights I would walk him to the door, I'd look him in the eyes a second or two longer than necessary just to see what he'd do if I stood there long enough....because really... I wanted to know. 

I sigh loudly, settle back into the couch, stare at the TV and say something along the lines of, "Well, we're older now. And real, older guys don't beat around the bush. If a boy wants to kiss a girl, he just does it. End of story." 

Maybe 5 seconds of silence pass before I see his hand reach across my face, grab my cheek, and pull my face into his. Well... I think that sure worked better than planned...

1 comment:

  1. Awe! i had gotten SO busy i wasnt able to finish the story! going to part 10!


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